Why I am happy today???

Finally, a light at the end of the tunnel! After suffering such a long humiliating and discredit years in struggle, am facing the dawn for the first time. This fine night, am very happy. Why I am happy today...hmmm may be am content with the way my life is shaping up...or is it because of the call I had receive from someone special in the evening with some hidden agenda in the making?...or because of the constant thinking about her...whatever, the bottom line is now I am very happy. I can't go to US of A to write a travelogue; not because I don't have the guts. Or I can't emcee to some talk show(s) to earn popularity. My priority as of now is to finish up the book(s) currently in the making for some time now. I want to publish these two books respectively on September 26 and October 21 this year. Sometimes, we unknowingly commit mistakes that has effect for the whole life. And sometimes, we knowingly commit mistakes that has also effect through out life. Here I would like to urge the judgment proclaimed which reward same punishment for both the mistakes committed. Because of the wrong judgment, an innocent, each of the respective mistake is suffering, at each end. Lets meet someday, and discuss about this confuse thing. Hmmmm... A cup of tea with thick tea leaves does some real magic at this wee hour. Time and tide waits for none, time has gone. Forget all these bulls...t, Lets celebrate today...cuz, am very happy to see myself without a tear in my eyes finally.

sometimes late at night...

I have a very bad habit. That I can't close my eyes before reading something. And very recently I have shifted this habit of reading books/letters/diaries to reading SMSes. I have some preserve SMSes from my past. Among them here I am quoting one "Ok, if you say so. Like every other time, I will also give you a chance this time. By the way give me your dateline..."
By this line you can easily guess what my nature must be in those days. I always promised her, that I won't do this and that. And I was strictly obeying the self made rules. After two or three days, I will return to my normal behaviour, and the same story repeats again...She won't speak to me for many hours/days... She wont prod me for anything until I make her another dangerous promise...I know this time too I won't keep it. You won't believe, I promise, I always tried to make her happy by doing everything...She too always do everything to make me happy...but who can fight with destiny!!!
Today, I am remembering you, missing you desperately. You must be sleeping, cocooned under warm love of your family. Late at this hour, I can't even find any star in the sky which could occupied my time in counting them and helping me in forgetting you and your memory. Oh my dear, wish you a better life, full of happiness... Today I promise you that I am a changed man, come and see me, ... but I know you won't...One thing very bad about you is you are very stubborn.

Thank you for caring me my dear friend.

"...My phone is not working, my pocket is empty. What the hell is happening? Late in the evening when I returned back, found my computer not working. Someone whom I trusted most had removed and taken away the Hard Disk and RAM without my knowledge. I can't blame him for his misconduct, because I know at whose insistence he was doing. Circumstances compelled every body to act like not like. I understand. My boss ring me up, and apprise me, some of my close associates whom doesn't like to disclose their names, visited him and talked rubbish about me. My boss said, don't worry, I don't believe them. Huhhh...I can't find a single stick of cigarette, even bottles are empty. Though I had promise not to drink to my love, at this moment I can go wild for a single drop. If you were around my dear, less will be the burden, mental havoc!!! Where are you?..."

Time is over, I can't sit at a corner, sulking... Without crossing the worst situations, no one can touch the best corners of life...Now, I am happy with old and new friends around, sharing everything, forgetting about the past... Vodka with limca, rum, whisky... choice is mine, with glasses full. Now I realise, good friend is someone who can take their own decision themself, and very importantly not depending upon their near and dear on taking decision what to do and what not to do for their friends. Thank you my dear friend for caring me. I wish, I can share all these happinese with my love!!!

The power of love

After almost three years of no-where-about, suddenly come into contact with her. She has undergone many changes, like, now knows how to make her face beauty, wooing others with single liners, maturity in decision making...list is a little bit long my dear. One thing which I observe, that seems remain stagnant, is her temper... Her Temper!!! Oh My God!

Somehow I came to know about her break-up with her long time lover, (source...she as well as her colleagues). Feel good, that guy wasn't the right one for her.

I strongly opine, why should we bind ourself to a so called "love relationship" when the relationship wasn't meant for? Why should we do stupid things and compromise when the relationship is not working?

If you are not happy with the present relationship, go to the root and find out. I will be very happy spending a moment happily with my love than spending twenty years with someone whom I don't love or am forced to act like being in love. Forget about rich or poor, popular or ill-famed, educated or layman...when you once fall in love, your life will be always on cloud number 9.

The picture of life starts when you meet your love. Quite often, the past doesn't matter in between true love... Let me conclude, now she seems very happy, laughing when alone, and eagerly waiting for the next moment, expecting sweet messages from the murmuring air...

I must admit, I am happy, very very happy, to see you happy.

Miss you dear

"My final decision is that I have always love you, I love you and will always love you"...

This line drive me crazy, but whats really written in our fate can't be changed, as normally says by one and all. I still remember that day, when she wasn't around me for the first time. I felt like crying, but there were a lot of friends around, so I tried to control myself, but I wasn't able to put on hold of my tears. They started pouring like water flowing down with strong forces in a waterfall. I suddenly left that place and run as must fast as possible in a park or say in an open meadow nearby, round after round. Tears were replaced by sweat. That moisture coming out through the pores of my skin got mixed up with the tears. And finally, thanks God, there were a brief rain for a while, and I was successful in hiding my tears.

Oh my love, oh my dear, today in the evening, there is again come the rain, remembering you, standing at the balcony, with arms raising out, collected some drops in my hand which was once busy in holding your hand, and sprinkle at the face.

Oh dear oh my love, I wish you were again in front of me...When you were around me, I never valued your love, but when you are not here, I realise the value of your love.

Dr. Kishan and Manipuri Literature

The post independence Manipuri writers are somewhat disillusioned. The acceptance and the rejection of the new faith, new governance, the confusion of the people coming to terms with the changing situation, the search for the identity became the mirror image of the present day Manipuri literature. These writers are more politically conscious. They began to realize the predicament they are trapped in. The earlier excitement turned into anger and sorrow and the romanticism turned into absurdity and meaninglessness. Their main themes are defeatism, cynicism, and despair. They are aware of the corruption in the society, the unstable life style and are vulnerable and insecure. The present day life of the common man is caught in the everyday existential crisis. The literature churning out of this period depicts this social reality of violence and death and the ever-present problems of poverty and unemployment. Though very very limited, Sir Dr. Kishan's writings clearly represent the present day situations and somewhere excels from the contemporary writers in terms of long term perspectives, and the way of analyzing the situations, and always gives a way to get solution to the persisting problem, marked by a distinct note in the theme and style and the way of presentation. It is very unfortunate for the Manipuri Literature; its treasure will have a big hole now. We have lost not only a good human being but a great writer/author of future Manipuri Literature. There must be some unpublished matter of his writings at his home. Those writings will further strengthen his great vision in Manipuri literature.

Hats off to AR Rehman

Without musics, I cannot imagine my life. Though I am the worst singer (if you ask me to rate myself) on the earth, I cannot spend a single day without crooning a tune whichever comes out momentarily at my lips. Some of my favourites are no longer around, and it becomes difficult for me to single out from the new comers, to label as my favourite. Here, Rehman scores highest when singling out. Laxmikant Pyarelal has given some of the most melodious and unforgettable Hindi film songs. R.D. Burman had composed many wonderful tunes with a fusion of Western taste. Who can forget the songs composed by Khayyam? But they never got a chance to showcase their talents in the Academy history. In the 74 year old Oscar history, A.R. Rehman has finally made history. Bhanu Athaiya may be the first Indian, and some more Indians in the list as of now, but the real triumph is the one Rehman got. I became his fan when he composed the song "Nahin Samne ye alag baath hain..." for Subhash Ghai's Taal. Not all his works are genius, but once teamed up with a good Lyricist and Film Director, he can do wonders. But here in Slumdog M..., Gulzar's lyrics and Rehman's music are not at their best. So we can expect more and more Oscars and other international trophies for Rahman. Rehman Jai ho...

Ethics of life

He is qualified in a sense. He knows his responsibilities, either for his family or his works. One thing he is lacking is he doesn't know how to deal with insensibility. In short he is diplomatically flop. Here I am writing about someone who is close to me. As a friend, I admire him for his sincerity, his honesty, his faithfulness etc etc... Sometimes I wonder... What is the use of running after pillar to post to gain some attention from the one who is avoiding you in every step??? I can't understand the logic behind why people love playing games with love!!! He cried like a child when she throws tantrum to their affairs. He dares to admit when he did something which might probably hurt her in distant future, or confesses even before doing something which is in the list of her dos and donts... Great, I wish, you continue... Finally, he reaps his sincerity with infidelity, inferiority... the list is so long, if you ask me to complete here, sorry dear, not today!!!

Is it good to confess all your past to your new love?

A beginning must be fresh in all aspect...You can lie today and can even manage somehow for the day, but one day when the truth comes out, you will have a tough time in explaining. It takes time to build a comfortable level in a relationship. If once you reach that level, everything can be compromised except infidelity.

Well, everybody has their past, someone has good ending, some other has horrible. At a maximum, most of the endings were of tragedy. Family issues, infidelity, caste, jealousy, possessiveness...list is too long. But the winner is leaving behind all the past and moving ahead with a new life, because life should go on.

Here comes the question "is it good to confess all our past to our new love?" And the answer is definitely yes!!! See, now you are going to start a new relationship leaving behind your troublesome past, here if you still commit the same mistakes than very soon this new relationship will have a bad ending.

Solution is just simple, share all your past and confess if anything offendable had committed in the past...your love will understand you and at your surprise you will get more love in return. If your love turn away after your confession, don't think you have committed a mistake, just chill... that one is not the one which you are waiting for. Wait and watch, don't be hurry...there is nothing as such of late in beginning a good relationship in real term.

Spice up or.....

Its obvious that in a relationship there comes ups and downs. It doesn't mean that we should spend sulking when the relationship doesn't work or got strained. It is not easy to forget first love, at the same time it is also very hard to bear when your first love start demanding too much from you.

If you really love someone, you must always be supportive in every endeavour. If you start demanding or inquiring too much on petty issues, its obvious that a new unwanted relationship will begin from that moment. Telling lie, even though not intended, will be the only means to satisfy the unnecessary demands from your love. If I say what is the use of holding that relationship for any longer when the beauty of the relationship turns the endowment for your telling lies than it will sound hoarse to you...